


Turn The World To Gold

by desertsky (fratboyryan)



Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Alternate Universe - No MCR, Alternate Universe - Romance Novel, Autistic Character, Escort Service, M/M, Nonbinary Character, Nonbinary Gerard Way, Past Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Sex Work, solo artist AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-30
Updated: 2020-10-03
Packaged: 2021-03-07 20:33:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,190
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26723692
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fratboyryan/pseuds/desertsky
Summary: Gerard is a successful solo artist, known for his powerful lyrics and theatrical performances. It's a job that's given him more money than he knows what to do with - and an addiction to drugs and alcohol he's still in recovery from. He hasn't had much experience dating, not with his Twitter stans watching his every move - and he has even less experience dating while sober.It doesn't help that he's autistic, and the thought of making a fool of himself by trying to get back onto the dating scene is anxiety inducing. His conclusion: he needs lots of practice--with a professional. Which is why he hires escort Ray Toro.Ray is an escort, living in LA and eking out a living. It's nice, but it's nothing special. When his long time celebrity crush hires him to teach him how to date, Ray decides to stop being such a nice guy for once in his life, and have something for himself.AThe Kiss QuotientAU.
Relationships: Ray Toro/Gerard Way
Comments: 11
Kudos: 20





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [bullets](https://archiveofourown.org/users/bullets/gifts).



> I hope you like this AU! G uses both he and they pronouns in this AU, and is openly autistic. Also, I'm imagining both of them looking like they did in around 2014? The title is from "Run Away With Me" by Carly Rae Jepsen.

> ###  G. 

Gerard liked calling his mom. Usually it injected a source of normalcy into his life that he so desperately missed, and it broke up his week from the monotony of his days in the studio. He kept his standing Thursday phone appointment with his mom because he needed her presence in his life, and it also made her less worried that he had fallen off the wagon when she was able to see him every week. 

Still, he  _ hated  _ the constant questions about his love life. 

“Mom! I don’t not have anyone because I’m worried about my autism anymore! I just haven’t met anyone, okay?” he told her, repeating the same conversation he’d had with her every week for the past year. If he wasn’t so dedicated to staying sober, it would have driven him to drink. 

“Still, honey, you don’t meet anyone because you don’t  _ go out,  _ which is definitely one of your autism things. Mikey told me so.”

That fucking snitch. Gerard was going to kill him. “That’s not it, mom. I just have a hard time meeting anyone with the kind of press I get, okay?”

“ _ Sure,  _ honey. What about that Lindsey girl?”

“What about her?” Gerard asked, trying to seem cool about it. Lindsey had been romantically linked to him, and she was cool and hot and definitely his type. But she’d also railed against the press saying they were dating because they’d hung out in public, and that had killed any possible confidence Gerard had in asking her out, ever.

“She seems like a nice girl, you should take her out some time, sweetie.”

“We’re just friends, mom. It’s okay.”

“I just worry, Gerard. You’re getting older, and I don’t want you to be alone because you’re scared of relationships, okay? I love you and want you to be happy.”

“I know. I love you too, mom.”

“Who’s my best little rock star?” she cooed, and despite the fact she’d asked the same question for years, it never failed to make him feel a complicated mess of embarrassment and pride. 

“Mikey.”

“Oh, come on,” his mom huffed, because they had the same conversation every time he called, “Who’s my best little solo act and Kerrang’s fourth prettiest girl?”

Gerard sighed dramatically, but couldn’t fight the grin creeping over his face. “I am.”

“That’s right. Now, just think about it, okay? You’re not getting any younger, and I want you to stop living like a bachelor, all by yourself in the big city. It’s time to make an honest woman of yourself, Gerard.”

“I know, mom. I love you. I’ll talk to you next week, okay?”

The second his mom hung up, he texted Mikey. 

**[G]** You little rat. Snitch. I can’t believe you sold me out!

**[M]** ??

**[G]** to mom!!

**[M]** oh. Lol

**[G]** Lol? She thinks I’m gonna die alone, and you say LOL? 

**[M]** yea lmfao

**[M]** start dating again then 

**[G]** Easy for you to say, Mr I have a fiance now

**[M]** And? I didn’t get her by sitting in my room like some loser. Get some practice in if you’re so concerned about your dating skills. 

**[G]** I hate you.

**[M]** no you don’t

**[G]** …

**[G]** No I don’t. 

Get some practice in. It made sense, in a way. Like playing the guitar, he just had to humiliate himself in a safe environment until he was good at it. The issue with dating, unlike the guitar, was that there was no headphones and practice amp setup for dating. 

Still, the more he thought about it, the more he thought it was a good idea. Like, he needed practice dating — and having sex — when not drunk off his ass. He needed practice to help him get off his ass and get back onto the scene. And it would be nice to build his confidence up a little bit, too. It couldn’t hurt, could it? It would be a great way to not have his awkward dating fumblings splashed over the side of Twitter where his fans lurked, while he made a huge fool of himself. 

It all made sense to him. Really, he should thank Mikey for the idea, if this worked out in the way Gerard hoped it would. 

Gerard nodded to himself and promised himself to spend half an hour researching. Instead, he spends his entire practice and writing time on Thursday reading through the listings of different escorts based in the LA area. 

* * *

> ###  R. 

Ray always dreaded getting home to piles of bills, and he usually would put them off as much as possible. He’d had an okay day at work — nothing had gone seriously wrong, which was unusual in his line of work — but he had to get to the bills before his appointment tonight. The bills were not the top of his priorities right now — but he felt bad opening just the letter from the clinic about his STD test results when his other mail was piling up. 

With a decisive tear, he ripped open the electric bill, and sighed with relief when it was reasonable. The bill from the hospital, while a lot steeper, was still what he had expected. God, with his luck, that meant he now had chlamydia. He opened the test results with trepidation, and sighed in relief when it came out all clear. Now, he’s probably got a racist hag as his appointment tonight. 

He was meeting them at an upscale hotel restaurant — nothing as extravagant as some of the places former clients had taken him, but certainly a place that was way out of his price range. He had to get primped and preened, to at least try and play like he belonged in such a ritzy establishment. 

His client tonight had just put their name down as Gee. They’d requested an extra sort of discretion which came with an NDA, which was usual for the more upscale clientele he saw, and put their age down as thirty-five. That meant they were probably fifty — everyone lied on these forms. 

The most interesting thing about them was that under gender they had put “non-binary… I guess? Not sure.” Ray didn’t really know how to interpret that, considering most of his clients were rich socialite women, so he’d just made a mental note to ask them if it meant they had certain preferences, especially in bed. Ray’s profile was down as bisexual, and he was vers, ut he usually ended up topping cis women. They hired him for the suave Latin lover experience, and as long as he had bills to pay, he would play his part dutifully. 

In the shower, careful to not get his hair under the spray, he idly stroked his cock, flicking through his mental rolodex of fantasies. He did this before all of his appointments, preparing himself with a fantasy that would help him act like he was way more horny for his client than he usually was.

He eventually decided on his roadie fantasy, instead of his more tame hot for teacher scenarios or thoughts of his ex girlfriend. He liked to imagine he was a tech for a moderately large metal band, and the lead guitarist had pulled him back behind the amps after the show ended. In the fantasy, he and his guitarist had bonded over their passion for music and love of vintage guitars, and they’d grown close over long tour nights. Their backstage passions were the result of months of love and trust and friendship. Call Ray a sap, but after escorting for years, all he wanted was to be able to fall in love. 

Too bad being a hopeless romantic didn’t pay the bills. 

By the time he pulled up at the hotel in his BMW, he was just on time. Good thing the hotel was fancy enough to have a valet service, because he’d hate to have to find a parking spot at the peak of the dinner rush. 

The hotel’s restaurant was artfully decorated, all Edison lightbulbs and marble slab tabletops. There were hundreds of restaurants like it in LA, all geared towards the type of fancy clientele who wanted to feel like they were having a gourmet but still home-cooked and down-to-earth meal, and pay a hundred bucks per head for it. 

He was looking for someone in a blue suit with brown hair and a red tie, and he spotted someone at the bar in a blue suit after only a moment of standing awkwardly at the front of the restaurant. He walked up to them, about to introduce himself, when he noticed the lack of a red tie. Face flaming, he made his apologies and continued to scan the place for his client. Everyone else was in a couple or group, except for a single person at the back corner booth, who could  _ possibly  _ be wearing a blue suit and a red tie, although it was hard to tell in the dim ambient lighting. 

Ray edged closer, and nearly turned back when he saw just how  _ young  _ they were. There was no way this was his client, except — 

“Ray?” they called, shaking their bangs away from their face to greet him, and ushered him over to their table. 

Ray took his seat, and finally got to take a good look at who his client was. They had a sweet, soft face, with a strong cupid’s bow and a little pixie nose. Their lips curled up to one side of their mouth, and they spoke out of the corner of that side with a distinct Jersey accent. A distinct Jersey accent that Ray would know, because tonight’s client was  _ Gerard Way,  _ a singer whose career Ray had been following so he’d first run into them on the scene nearly a decade and a half ago.  _ Gerard Way  _ was sitting at this table; clutching a glass filled with what Ray assumed was a diet coke, from his understanding of the singer’s drink tastes; waiting for  _ him.  _ Ray Toro.

But, Ray was a professional. He would not let this phase him. “Hi, I’m Ray. As, uh. You know,” Ray said, perhaps a little bit phased. He was thrown off his game by this revelation. Fuck. Now he had to spend the rest of tonight trying not to be a creep. The disclosure agreement made even more sense now, knowing what kind of fanbase Gerard had. 

“Hi Ray, I’m Gee. Gerard. You can call me either, I don’t mind,” Gee said, smiling their little smile, like they were  _ charmed  _ by Ray’s flustered demeanor. 

“I actually, uh. Wanted to ask — What pronouns do you prefer?” Ray asked, defaulting to a question he’d wanted to ask at the start anyway, even though he knew the answer already. “I don’t get a lot of nonbinary clients,” Or  _ any.  _ “So I didn’t want to misgender you or anything…” 

That made Gee smile, fully this time, showing off their tiny little teeth. Ray was so charmed already, and he’d been here for only a few minutes. “Um, I use he/him or they/them, I’m more used to he/him, but I don’t really mind, y’know?” He sounded almost… worried, and Ray didn’t know how to assure him that Ray was genuinely invested in his happiness without sounding like a total stalker. “I should also let you know… I’m autistic. It’s not something that’s weird or I’m ashamed about, but it is why I wanted to see you… So if you’re not okay with that, or ableist or whatever, here’s your out.”

Ray bit back his automatic response of ‘I know, I’ve read every interview you’ve given to music magazines’, and instead said “That’s no problem. Trust me.”

If Ray thought Gee’s smile was big before, he was a fool, because Gerard absolutely  _ beamed  _ at Ray’s response. It made Ray’s blood boil to see the look of relief and joy on Gerard’s face, and in that moment he wanted to kill anyone who had made Gerard feel weird or ashamed. 

“That’s great. So, I should probably just be upfront, huh? I don’t really know what to do in these situations, so stop me if I’m rambling. Anyway… I’m an alcoholic. And I have a history of depression and anxiety… they’re kind of related to the autism? But also not. It’s a long story. Okay, uh… So basically I haven’t dated, or even had sex, since I got sober — it’s just too awkward and anxiety inducing. So I guess I was hoping I could hire you for a while — paying a retainer fee and everything, of course — to help me practice dating? Basically be my practice boyfriend and you could tell me if I’m being awkward or say the wrong thing or anything, so that I know, and don’t miss the most blunt visible cues, for next time. If that’s okay with you… Oh god, I’m rambling too much.”

“It’s okay, Gee. I’m glad you’re so up front, it makes my job easier, to be honest. So, you want a practice relationship? The whole boyfriend experience?” Ray didn’t normally do that. Ray knew some of the people at his agency who did, but it wasn’t really Ray’s style. He’d had a few repeat clients who got clingy, and that was only for single night sexual encounters. Still, and maybe this made him a complete creep beyond reproach, if there was one client he wouldn’t mind getting clingy, it’s  _ Gerard Way.  _

So that’s why, when Gerard nodded and said, “Yeah, that’s the idea. That’s not too strange, is it? I’m sorry I don’t know all the protocol for… this. To be honest I didn’t really think it through? I realise now I should have… I don’t know what I was thinking.” And his hand flew up to his face, shoving his hair off his face with his fingers flexed at odd directions.  _ Gerard Way.  _

Ray found his awkwardness so charming, and that’s why he made the decision to go for it. Fuck this. He can have this one thing, for however it lasts. “You’d want to be exclusive, right?”

“If that’s okay — wait, you don’t have a partner, do you? I assumed not, but I definitely shouldn’t have. I  _ know  _ what they say about assumptions — ”

“No worries, Gee, seriously. I don’t have a partner.”

“Oh, I’m glad. Not that I’m glad that you don’t have a partner! You deserve one! Just that I’m glad you’re available for… this.”

Ray couldn’t help smiling at that, could he? Gerard kept putting his foot in his mouth on purpose, bringing up issues Ray would never had noticed if Gerard hadn’t mentioned them. It was sweet, how concerned Gerard was with Ray’s comfort. Ray hadn’t had  _ sweet  _ in a long time.

“I think I could be up for being your practice boyfriend. Although, don’t you want to get to know me a little, first? From what you’re saying, you’re looking for a couple months of me, so maybe you should check to see if we’re compatible. How about we treat this session today as our practice run, see what our chemistry is like so you can decide if you want to continue with me, or keep looking for someone who is a better fit.”

Gerard looked like he hadn’t even  _ considered  _ the possibility that Ray could be a bad fit, and it made Ray feel a little weak from the apparent trust he already had in Ray. That trust made him also a little bit nervous, because Gerard didn’t know that Ray was violating it by being his biggest fan. 

“That makes sense, actually,” Gerard said with a little self-conscious giggle that had no actual humor in it, “I didn’t think about it like that. You probably want to see how… difficult this would be. With me.”

Ray felt like shit to think he had made Gerard feel that way. “No!,” he cut Gerard off, a little more forceful than necessary, “No, I mean in case you don’t like me, or I’m not the best fit for your needs… I want to make sure you find someone who can really help you.”

Gerard flushed, like he had forgotten he was Ray’s paying customer, and that  _ he  _ called all the shots. 

“So far, I think you’re exactly who I have been looking for…” Gerard said, after taking a long sip of his diet coke, and fuck if that wasn’t something Ray had fantasised about coming out of that gorgeous mouth… too bad it had to happen like this, in the only situation where it didn’t mean anything. 

“I’m glad. I’d love to help you,” he said, reaching across the table to take one of Gee’s hands in his. “How about we spend tonight together and you see if you still feel the same way, okay? You’ve already paid for me, and unfortunately, the agency doesn’t offer refunds.”

“Okay,” Gee said, his short hair falling back over his eyes, like he was trying to hide behind it and failing. It was so cute, and in that moment, Ray knew he was truly fucked. 


	2. Chapter 2

###  G.

Look. The thing about growing up in a basement is that it turns you into a creep, regardless of whether or not you had the disposition for creepiness beforehand. At least, that’s what Gerard tells himself the entire time they eat, as he tries his hardest not to let slip a hint that he knows Ray. Well. Knew him. 

Gerard knew Ray through Shaun and Mikey, back before he played music, when he was just a loner who would let his baby brother drag him to shows. Of course he knew Ray — everyone knew Ray, just like everyone knew most everyone on the scene. Ray played in a bunch of bands, and outshone every other member in them with his talent and skill. Sometimes, it was fucking embarassing, especially the times where Ray was shoved into roles that didn’t let him shine, like when he played the bass or drums. 

Gerard had always liked Ray. He’d just never said anything to him. He only started seriously drinking when he’d gotten more popular than just the Jersey scene, and by that time, Ray had moved on to greener pastures, or they’d just never really seen each other again. He’d liked Ray, from a distance, watching his shows from the back of the venue — whatever it was — nursing a beer or a Jack & Coke and  _ occasionally  _ letting himself be dragged into the pit by one of his friends. 

So, Gerard thought, perhaps hiring an escort and then being surprised when they suggested sex — even when you told them  _ that was what you wanted  _ — is one of the more stupid things Gerard had done in his life. 

It was made infinitely worse by the fact that Ray was basically Gerard’s dream guy. Okay, well… He  _ was  _ Gerard’s dream guy (excluding Grant Morrisson). Ever since Shaun had first introduced Ray to Gee, he had been smitten. Ray’s easy confidence, his kind smile, his nerdy side, and his  _ competence  _ had just enchanted Gerard, who loved to fantasise about Ray as he watched him from the back of whatever basement they were calling a venue that night. 

And Ray thought Gerard would reject him — Gerard nearly laughed. When he’d seen Ray’s listing on the escort site he had done a double take, because he couldn’t believe his eyes. He’d only been curious about what it would be like to do this, but then he’d seen Ray and he’d pulled his credit card out before he could chicken out. He wanted to take it as a sign, something to indicate that this was a good idea, and not at all a stupid plan that was going to fuck up his relationship with his longest standing crush. If Ray knew what a creeping creeper Gerard was, he would run the other way. Gerard was deeply fucked, and they hadn’t even gotten to the fucking hotel room. 

It was even worse when they got to the part of dinner where they acted like they were on a date. Ray was funny and attentive, and he let Gerard ramble about all his opinions on the different eras of Iron Maiden and even gave thoughtful comments and asked probing questions, letting Gerard ramble for even  _ longer  _ about his special interest. They talked about the issues with the current MCU lineup, and Ray started talking about the flaws in editing and cinematography, and Gerard’s intelligence kink fired up every single synapse in his brain to soak Ray’s conversation in. It was like he wanted nothing more than to be where he was, sitting right across from Gerard. 

Gerard hadn’t known Ray was such a talented actor. It made sense, given his wealth of other talents, that he’d be great at this too. 

“Hey,” Ray said, flipping Gerard’s hand over, and rubbing his thumb along the lines of Gerard’s palm, “you said you got a room, right? Wanna head up, now?” 

Gerard wasn’t normally great with unsolicited touches from strangers, but he’d learned to tolerate them because fans loved hugs and shit, and Gerard didn’t want them to feel like he didn’t love them. It was hard, though, and he usually had to ignore the way every hair stood on end even hours after he’d finished. Ray had gently laid his hand on Gerard’s at the start of dinner, and it only took Gerard a minute to grow comfortable with the touch. When their food came, and Ray drew his hand away, Gerard mourned the loss. He nearly cheered when Ray held his hand all through dessert. It was such a simple thing, but it was amazing how easy it felt, just to be with Ray, and to not feel anxious or terrified about every single thing. 

Gerard flushed red at the implication, even though he  _ really  _ wanted to, and nodded shakily. “I’ll, uh,” he mumbled, and licked his lips which had suddenly gone bone dry, “I’ll get the bill.”

Ray leaned back in his seat to gesture for their waiter, and the waiter had let Gerard stutter through his room number and assured Gerard that the tab would just be consolidated with the room’s bill. “Thanks for dinner,” Ray said, and took Gerard’s suit jacket from the waiter he’d stored it with, and helped him put it back on. 

Gerard was  _ so  _ glad they were going to the room, now, because he didn’t know what he’d have done if he’d had to drive home thinking about the way Ray’s fingers adjusted the collar of the suit jacket at the nape of his neck. 

“How are you feeling?” Ray asked, as the elevator took them up to the eighth floor, “was that what you wanted?” He was looking down, his entire focus just on Gerard, and it made Gerard squirm. He was in hot fucking water now, huh?

“Um, good,” Gerard squeaked, accidentally squeezing Ray’s hand, “yeah. Uh. What about you?”   
“I’m good too,” Ray replied, his voice as smooth as silk, and he stroked his thumb down the length of Gerard’s hand. They hadn’t let go since Ray had put Gerard’s jacket on. Gerard never wanted to let go. “But this isn’t about me, okay Gee? I want to help you.”   
“I want to help you feel good,” Gerard insisted, but he was cut off by the elevator doors opening up to an elderly couple. 

Gerard ducked his head and broke his hold on Ray’s hand, hurrying towards the room. God this was so embarrassing. What was he doing? He didn’t know how to  _ date.  _ He didn’t know how to  _ have sex while sober.  _ He was going to make a huge fool of himself in front of Ray and Ray would laugh at Gerard’s inexperience and penchant for getting distracted. 

The second he’d unlocked the hotel room and let Ray in, he’d told Ray to sit on the bed and hurried into the bathroom with his night bag. God, okay. He could just change into the fancy pyjamas he’d bought earlier today for this, and brush his teeth, and maybe by then he would have calmed down enough to not be the laughingstock of Twitter tomorrow. 

###  R.

Ray can’t help but feel a little bit hurt at how quickly Gerard sprang away from him the second he saw someone else. The restaurant had been different in their mind, maybe, where it didn’t seem so transactional. But faced with the sheer reality of the fact they were taking an escort they’d hired up to their hotel room for sex, maybe then they’d been ashamed of Ray. 

Ray didn’t mind being a sex worker. He didn’t need to be, at least not anymore, not since his finances were finally in pretty good shape and he was getting steady work. He could certainly afford to take a break, or quit entirely, and cover some expenses with his savings until he solidified his sources of income again. The only thing that really sucked about his job was all the stigma attached to it, how he didn’t want people to come to unrealistic and offensive conclusions about him, just because he did this. He escorted because — and yes, he was fully aware of how  _ sad  _ this is — he was lonely. 

Making people feel happy, wanted, appreciated — well, they made him feel wanted and appreciated right back, and that was pretty close to happiness in Ray’s mind. 

He gets it, though. Gerard cares about their image and their work, and if Ray was in the same position, he would as well. Gerard doesn’t want the sleazy TMZ headlines about them, and Ray totally understands that. He just wishes it didn’t sting so badly. 

Gerard had hurried into the bathroom, and Ray was a little surprised. Gerard had been engaged and open all night, and up until they’d seen the couple, they’d been more than happy to hold Ray’s hand throughout their meal. Ray was pretty sure Gerard wanted him — he’d had a lot of practice watching for that. Plus, Gerard  _ chose  _ Ray. If they’d wanted a more traditional LA hunk, there were plenty of those to pick from at Ray’s agency. 

Ray sat on the bed, fiddling with his phone for ten minutes, when he started to hear some slamming drawers and muffled curses coming from the bathroom. He’d given it another minute, and then got up to investigate. 

He knocked on the door and peeked in at Gerard, who was standing in the centre of the bathroom, clad in only their boxers and dress shirt, tugging at the waistband of a pair of pyjama bottoms with their teeth. Ray didn’t know what to think. 

Gerard noticed Ray immediately, though, and flushed bright red as they dropped their hands to try and get the pyjamas to cover their legs. It didn’t really work well, as most of Gerard’s pasty thighs and the swell of their calves were easily visible. The two of them stood and stared at each other for a pregnant moment, and then Ray broke the silence with:

“Do you need some help with that?”

At the same time, Gerard said, “Oh my God.”

“Not God, just Ray,” Ray joked, and threw Gerard a flirty wink. It was the kind of wink he used on middle aged housewives, but it seemed to work as equally as well on Gerard. 

“Um, just trying to sort out my PJs...:”

“You not planning to take them off tonight?”   
Gerard ducked his head, looking straight down at the floor. “Um… I don’t know. I’ll want them for later, maybe? I just really can’t stand tags, but I don’t know how to get this one off.”

Ray nodded, and opened a drawer in the bathroom that was filled with small different toiletries and essentials. And, most importantly — a pair of nail clippers. “Pass it over? I can use this to cut them off for you.”

Gerard nodded mutely, forgetting their insecurities about their legs to hand the pyjama bottoms to Ray.

Snipping the labels off was easy, but Ray took the seam ripper from the hotel sewing kit and made sure that all the parts of the label were fully removed. 

“Thanks,” Gerard said, again, “that was really smart.”

“Are you okay, Gee, or do you want a little more time to get ready…? I don’t want to hurry you.”

“It’s okay… I probably need a little hurrying, to be honest. That’s what Mikey always says, anyway. If he didn’t hurry me, I’d never leave the house.”

Ray remembered Gerard as they were when they first met, how Gerard had lived in his parent’s basement and only came up for food and booze and the occasional show. Maybe some things never changed. 

“I don’t want to pressure you into anything you don’t want, Gee. I want you to feel comfortable.”   
“I am comfortable, I promise! You’re really sweet. I’m just a nervous wreck,” they shrugged, tilting their head down to stare at the floor while they pulled on the rest of their pyjamas. 

“Regardless, you’re calling the shots, okay? How can I make you feel good?”

Gerard scrunched up their nose in thought, or maybe like they were gathering up the courage to ask for something. “Um…” they started, and then paused for a minute. “Can you… kiss me?”

Ray smiled, and took three confident steps forward. He could  _ definitely  _ do that. Standing up close to Gerard, he realised how small Gerard was in comparison to him. They weren’t  _ tiny,  _ but they didn’t have Ray’s height or weight, and it was too easy to lean down, tuck a loose lock of hair behind Gerard’s ear, and slowly kiss him. 

Their first kisses were sweet and tentative, a short, closed mouth kiss. But soon, Gerard got into it, and they curled their fingers around Ray’s shoulders and drew him in harder, kissing more deeply and passionately than before. If it was anyone but Gerard, Ray would have hated this — the waiting, the bathroom make outs, the way that different members of the family would ask him to do stuff. 

But it  _ was  _ Gerard, and Ray loved it. Despite the coarse ends of Gerard’s hair, the mids and roots were really fucking soft, and Ray worked it around his fingers with a careful precision. He scratched at the base of Gerard’s scalp and he shivered at the touch, losing his concentration with kissing. Gerard was a really fucking good kisser. Ray was beginning to think they’d lied to him about their dating experience.

It was only when Gerard bucked into Ray’s thigh, half hard and searching for stimulation outside of those pyjama pants, did Ray break the kiss for something else. “Oh, hey,” Ray murmured, trying to sound as collected and put together as he did at the start of the night. He was a  _ terrible  _ professional. 

“Um,” Gerard scrunched up their face in thought, and their gaze flicked between their bathroom sink and the bed. “Can we… uh… take this to the bed? Maybe?”

“Of course,” Ray replied, giving Gerard another soft peck on the cheek. “Whatever you want, darling.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm just writing this as it comes to me, so unfortunately I don't have any kind of posting schedule or Beta haha. I'm kind of tired rn so I hope this makes sense. I just want fluff... hehehe


End file.
